Struggling with abundance

 I often get overwhelmed with how abundant life is and struggle to appreciate because I don't feel deserving of receiving. This feeling of unworthiness prevents me from immersing myself in the joyous ocean of gratitude.


I tend to remain in a state of denial because of a low self worth which makes me miss out on all the existing wonderful things that I could be thankful of. I even avoid counting my blessings because I'm worried it will be taken away from me.


I realised I was doing this because I had a lot of internal resistance with giving in to pride.

It was revelating to realise how pride is indeed one of the 6 anarthas(anything that is not artha- or that which is not the goal).

The much needed reminder of the knowing that we're conditioned beings in this material world.


So, Isn't it much better to take positive forward actions and engage in pride than to remain stagnant with excessive jealousy and envy?

To be proud of how far you've come instead of letting your false ego belittle you with comparison.


You don't need to become someone else to be worthy of receiving.

By affirming that your very existence qualifies you to fully depend on and claim all the love, mercy and abundance you can have!


To work on not focusing on the fear of losing what you have that you act in ways that end up manifesting your limitations.

Which might mean- tuning into your deepest desires without supression, labelling or guilt for not being idealistic.


Start practicing new beliefs. Yes, I accept my blessings because at one point I accepted and worked through my pain too. Acknowledging my present reality is not going to ruin anything.

The Lord is not evil. He loves us unconditionally!


It's okay to not be perfect.

To be honest with my present as I gradually work my way towards the highest goal.


To keep trying to be healthy and functional human beings who can appreciate and remember the Lord, hoping to be fully purified one day.


22nd August,  2022

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