Life is like a bonda

 Life is like a bonda

Why I say that I don't know


Fiiine let me come to the point.


I haven't written in ages although every single day I've been wanting to.

There was a break I needed to take and now coming back, I feel robbed, left with just hesitancy


In destitution,

I file a case against my mind


Who stole from me

My precious savings of confidence, expression, vulnerability and compassion


I wanna blame and point fingers but it looks at me with puppy eyes


Softening my heart against my wishes

Asking to be heard and seen with a kinder light


To forgive and understand

The reason for my resistance


Now I write to affirm and reassure

Hoping the ice melts

After the chillness of all the change and distance


Everyone's experience is unique. What I share may be something someone already knows. But the nuances are never the same. The words barely exact.


Why fear when there are people to hear. Sharing my journey doesn't make me any better than others but fulfills my own heart and soul. It brings me alive. To show up authentic, raw and vulnerable.


Maybe it's cringy or maybe it's old news or maybe I sound like I'm trying hard to impress and immaturely seeking for external validation.

What if it's true and it's okay that it's true. Because I'm more than just my insecurities.

Maybe it brings a smile on someone's face and maybe the world needs more people to share their stories

If I'm anyways going to assume, I choose to assume the best.

To keep writing unapologetically and leave plenty of room to mess up and learn and grow


I don't want to do it right

I don't want to do it perfect

I don't want to fit in boxes

I just wanna be me


To honour my nervous system and to keep it super real, I acknowledge that this entire post is me fawning as a trauma response.

And I conclude this flowing piece by reminding myself and you to stop being so hard on ourselves. To take a deep breath and forgive ourselves a little. Remembering that slip ups are not the end of the world. And that we can actually keep choosing to receive support, get up and continue moving forward?!


With lots of love and happy to be back

Yours Bhagyavathiii


28th July, 2022

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