Let me be trinkets

 It's one of those days

Where I seek refuge in writing

In sharing and choosing to be vulnerable

Honest, raw and open


This is one of those pieces that unfolds itself

I'm holding my phone and typing the words

Not knowing what comes next


Seeking hope and changing

forgiving, grieving and mourning

Of past expectations and dreams


Lots of confusion and lots of pain

A battle with my ego that wants to win alone


Realising there's no lasting joy without shared emotions


Struggling to practice being happy for others without feeling like I lost


Why is it so difficult to celebrate others and not feel threatened?


I remind myself of the abundance around


I am safe and it's okay to be happy for others


Maybe my need to feel different comes in the way of receiving human love


I don't want to feel special if it's at the cost of being alone


I rather choose the mundane and ordinary

And laugh and cry with those around me


Maybe it's okay to fit in and experience life together with others


Maybe it's okay even if I might lose myself a bit because I've had enough of being selfish


I was proud of the individuality I built that I protect and hide it in fear of losing it


I don't want to be a diamond locked up in a safe forever


Let me be the sea shells that kids want to collect and play with


Let me be sand and gravel and pebbles


Let me be trinkets and anything of material cheap value


Let me be so cheap that my value grows with the memories I make and in the richness of my heartfelt soul connections


Let me be so simple that my grandeur is displayed in the radiance of my love and in the sapphire depths of my conversations


Let me lose myself into others so much that my past selfish identity is destroyed like the pheonix that burns to ashes only to rise better than ever


This storm, I want to rise not alone but with all of those that can come along

In this unlearning of a corporate conditional belief that thrives on comparison, competition, and envy


Yes I'll mess up and slip but this piece is here to remind and keep me accountable for this newfound beautiful practice


1st June, 2022

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