Dear bhagya - a letter to self

 Dear Bhagya,

You deserve the best and you don't have to wait for it to come through others. 

Throw flowers on yourself and go for a walk. Read a book or take a nap. Play violin or call a friend. Stop expecting to hear from someone else. Stop waiting to be invited. If and when it happens, it happens. Until then invite yourself. Invite yourself to have a good time. Invite yourself to do fun, crazy stuff that makes you feel whole.

Mercury retrograde might be ending for the season but I doubt it matters anymore. Something's bound to keep coming. There will always be someone or something to blame.(astrologically, external weather conditions, lockdowns, unexpected behaviours from other people, last minute cancellations...)

But who doesn't leave is you. So, choose to be there for yourself. Then, no matter what happens outside it wouldn't make a difference within. Follow your schedule irregardless. Practice discipline and don't wait until you hear from others. Ask for help. Be true to yourself. Be your own check.

Get used to feeling that maybe you are the only one out there. It's uncomfortable but one day someone might reach out saying it gave them the strength. Stay. You don't have to be all in or all out. Pause now and then but stay. Stay and move. Slowly. Little by little. It will be worth it. Absolutely worth it.

Most importantly, don't forget to keep taking that one step in Krishna's direction. That one small step towards Him every single day. Letting him know how all of the above is only possible because of His causeless love and immediate reciprocation. 


With love

Bvr

19th June, 2021

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Why heal?

I went on a beach date with my friend and she took a video of me dancing in the waves Watching it moved me with suprise and made me go - GOSH HEALING IS SO FRIKKING WORTH IT! Worth the awareness and acknowledgement it brings of all the pain, hurt, injustice, blame and trauma that young innocent me had faced. I felt so free! It had been a rough few days just before that date. Each time I consciously choose to address and heal a certain wound from my past, I am taken on a spin around in the dark, foggy storm, unsure of when things will settle down. But when they do always naturally calm down, I feel immensely relieved. Like a huge chunk has been lifted off from my heart. I feel like soaring, flying and dancing just like in this video! It is a lot of jumping and twirling hehe The light heartedness, the further freeing of my suppressed inner child, the wildness from within syncing with the sea breeze and the fearless dance of the waves lifting me off my feet! Once my friend told me that wa...
Read more

Healing- Ice breaker sessions with myself

 Falling deeper and deeper in love with life as each day passes by With the unfailing rising of the sun that sets on yesterdays Climbing ashore after the storms that shoved me into the chasm of my shadows Breathing in acceptance, of a breath so filled with compassion Gently soothing my ruptured nerves into a soul expanding radiance ... I've been asked many times. What keeps you going? Why do you choose to heal? Now, I'll tell you why. I invite you to listen with an open heart, forgetting everything around for a while. Imagine a frozen lake. Cold and icy shards. I'm that water within and also the ice on top. The ice that I unconsciously layered, to stop further hurt. Alas it also meant, to block out the divine flow of love. One day, tired of being frozen into survival and yearning for some fresh air, I wanted to heal. I wanted to stop piercing myself and others with the painful sharp edges of my complex-trauma icicles.* (check comments) Ever since that day, I've been liv...
Read more

Friendship

 I always preferred being by myself. I never bothered to deepen relationships because my expectations were so low that I would automatically assume the worst. I barely gave first chances or the benefit of doubts. I was just sure it wouldn't work out. I knew it was going to be temporary and would end sometime. These thoughts stopped me from reaching out and making new friends. I drew so many boundaries that they formed a wall around me. I thought I was protecting myself from rejection, betrayal and disappointment. I thought I was doing what I thought was best for me. Looking back now, I realise I've been reacting from a place of fear based control and false detachment. For years these thoughts frustrated me and made me feel helpless and lonely. In the name of having high standards I was pushing people away. I intentionally wouldn't open up in fear of sharing too much because what if after I tell my story, they leave me? What if I spend hours talking to someone only for them...
Read more